Well it's time to start posting my treasure trove of family video interviews. When Dad got his lung cancer, he decided to buy a video camera and have me film him telling his life story. It makes for a grand epic and it's also a heart-wrenching document of his physical decline, but I'm so glad I have it.
Following that up, I started making interview videos of other family members of that generation, with the common thread of "Tell me what your experience of World War II was like." I particularly was looking forward to interviewing Aunt Ida because Dad's story of his travel with his mother from Guangzhou to the village in 1943 is the most harrowing and emotional event of his life. But I knew Aunt Ida and Uncle Harold made the same journey on a different route, in order to spread out the family for safety. So I wanted to get her story of that.
Surprisingly, considering how easy it usually is to tempt Igoo into telling old stories, she was kind of evasive about doing an interview video. I finally got some time where she couldn't escape... waiting for our plane in San Francisco for our flight to Aunt Mary's memorial service. Even then, she still tried "Later, later, let's do it later."
So I said, "Igoo, we can do it later, but just so you know, I'm going to want to hear about is your side of the story when you and Uncle Harold had to travel from Guangzhou to the village." That got her launched right into 40 minutes of stories until our flight was called to line up.
Afterwards, the gentleman sitting in the seat behind her said, "I'm sorry for eavesdropping, but that was the most fascinating thing I've heard in a long time." So classic.
Here's the video:
Thursday, April 9, 2020
Monday, June 22, 2015
Father's Day 2015 - I'm feeling it, Dad!
Dad, his mother, and his sister-in-law Mary.
Guessing 1960-ish in Vancouver.
6/21/15. I had a great Father's Day today. Activity-wise it wasn't so unusual... Natasha and I walked the dogs and played some basketball. I watched a movie in the afternoon, and then we all went out to Chouchou restaurant for the first time, which was great.
My girls made an effort to help me have a special day, but the reality is the best thing about it was the normalness of it. I get such joy from being this little girl's father that on this Father's Day I took the time to both appreciate the moment and the fact that my life is filled with these moments.
Dad used to say, "You'll understand when you're a father." He was talking about the delight a father gets out of the smallest, silliest things his little girl does. How pride surges when she figures something out, or demonstrates kindness. How joyous it is to sit across from her at dinner and look at her perfect little bangs I just cut and the jewelry she's wearing that she made this week. How her happiness spurs my own. How it wouldn't even be a question what I would do if for some reason I had to sacrifice my life for hers. And I can't believe the special cuddling relationship that only a daddy and daughter can have.
Family is the best. It's incredible. Somewhere my dad is happy I feel this.
Today, before dinner. One of many hugs.
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Dad's birthday, 2014
OK, I'm not exactly diligent. But I am really missing Dad this year. Maybe it's because I need more comfort these days. Maybe it's because Tasha's growing up and I want him to see it.
Happy birthday, Dad! I love you!
Son-Son
Son-Son
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Friday, June 19, 2009
How to find Harold and Kathy Mah's gravesite
After we visited my grandparents' grave, we needed to go to Auntie Kathy's burial. But the only information we had about the location was that it was called "Alto Reste," no address. (OK, this is the importance of following the caravan.) But thankfully, there's the 21st century cell phone. First, I tried to find it on the Internet. With no luck there, I spotted a sign for "Red Deer Cemetary Services" outside the Red Deer Cemetery, and I called that number. That happened to ring at Alto Reste, and I got good directions out there.
Unfortunately, Google does not have a satellite photo of this area, nor does this cemetery have an actual address. Just type "Alto Reste, Red Deer" into Google Maps and you get this:
Basically, you head out 2A and it pops right up on the right. Drive on in and go straight back (perpendicular to 2A), going around an obstacle or two. Then take the last left that isn't all the way behind everything. Here's two views from the intersection nearest the plot:
We had missed everyone (saw some of them driving the other way on the way out), but we watched Auntie Kathy's casket get lowered into the ground. I found out later from Sheldon that they had done it with everyone there, but someone noticed they'd pointed her backwards. So we saw the final lowering. Last shot: the headstone.
I lifted the Astroturf off Uncle Harold and spread more ashes, then sprinkled some on Auntie Kathy's casket too.
That wraps up Alberta. On our drive out, Debbie said she just heard from Dad's ghost, and he had said "Good son."
Aww, thanks Dad.
Glenn
Unfortunately, Google does not have a satellite photo of this area, nor does this cemetery have an actual address. Just type "Alto Reste, Red Deer" into Google Maps and you get this:
Basically, you head out 2A and it pops right up on the right. Drive on in and go straight back (perpendicular to 2A), going around an obstacle or two. Then take the last left that isn't all the way behind everything. Here's two views from the intersection nearest the plot:
We had missed everyone (saw some of them driving the other way on the way out), but we watched Auntie Kathy's casket get lowered into the ground. I found out later from Sheldon that they had done it with everyone there, but someone noticed they'd pointed her backwards. So we saw the final lowering. Last shot: the headstone.
I lifted the Astroturf off Uncle Harold and spread more ashes, then sprinkled some on Auntie Kathy's casket too.
That wraps up Alberta. On our drive out, Debbie said she just heard from Dad's ghost, and he had said "Good son."
Aww, thanks Dad.
Glenn
Thursday, June 18, 2009
How to find the gravesite of Dad's parents, Mah Foo and Ven Fong Wong
First, you go to Red Deer, Alberta.
It was only after arriving at Gaetz Memorial Church for Auntie Kathy's services on June 1 that we discovered that she was not being buried at the same graveyard as my grandparents. We always thought of Red Deer as a pretty small place, but with 88,000 current residents, they have two graveyards. This left us without much time to visit both graveyards before making the 75 minute drive back to Calgary to catch our plane.
When the procession after the services appeared to have no police escort, and we realized the entire group was doing a drive-by of the family house (A Chinese luck ritual... there's a million of 'em), Mom wisely suggested we bail on that caravan and go find Dad's parents' site first. Unfortunately, the directions I gleaned and cross-referenced from people before the service were terrible. We took a long time to just to finally find the Red Deer Cemetery and some of that time were sitting just outside it.
Then we didn't find anything where we were told, so we started spreading out and looking... Winnie, Mom, Debbie, and me. I was just thinking that maybe we should give up so we can still go to Auntie Kathy's site and then catch our plane in Calgary. Then Winnie waved me down, about 10 rows from where we started looking and shouted, "I found them!" Amazed, I asked her how she did it. She said, "I prayed to our ancestors to tell me, and they (specifically grandma) did!" You know, when stuff like that happens, a skeptic calls it imaginary. I don't think it's imaginary.
(Years later, I went to visit Winnie's grave in Colma (Woodlawn Memorial) for the first time since her funeral. I couldn't find it either, so I asked Winnie for help. I panned the yard left to right waiting for her to tell me when to stop. I did once, and it seemed like the wrong spot to me. I tried it again and stopped at the same spot. I figured my signal was bad and I went to the office to get the official location. Turns out it was right. Sorry I didn't trust you, Winnie!)
Best tip: The cemetery is only listed as being on "55 Street," but if you put 3980 55 St, Red Deer, Alberta into a Google Maps search, it comes up right at the cemetery entrance. There's plenty of street parking. If Google changes over time and this search doesn't work so well, just find the "Michener Centre" and go West a block or so. Or try "55 St. and McLellan Drive." At this point in time, the satellite photo loaded into Google is ancient... the cemetery is hardly developed at all. Park near the Google "A" on the map and follow the red line to the red dot.
The following photo sequence shows the views you'll see as you walk towards the spot. Once you get to the giant shed to the left of section V, you count in 13 rows to the right and then go halfway up the row. Right now there's a birdhouse at the other end of row 13.
Finally, here's a shot of me completing the mission to spread Dad's ashes on his parents' grave.
Last stop, Alto Reste with Uncle Harold and Auntie Kathy.
Glenn
It was only after arriving at Gaetz Memorial Church for Auntie Kathy's services on June 1 that we discovered that she was not being buried at the same graveyard as my grandparents. We always thought of Red Deer as a pretty small place, but with 88,000 current residents, they have two graveyards. This left us without much time to visit both graveyards before making the 75 minute drive back to Calgary to catch our plane.
When the procession after the services appeared to have no police escort, and we realized the entire group was doing a drive-by of the family house (A Chinese luck ritual... there's a million of 'em), Mom wisely suggested we bail on that caravan and go find Dad's parents' site first. Unfortunately, the directions I gleaned and cross-referenced from people before the service were terrible. We took a long time to just to finally find the Red Deer Cemetery and some of that time were sitting just outside it.
Then we didn't find anything where we were told, so we started spreading out and looking... Winnie, Mom, Debbie, and me. I was just thinking that maybe we should give up so we can still go to Auntie Kathy's site and then catch our plane in Calgary. Then Winnie waved me down, about 10 rows from where we started looking and shouted, "I found them!" Amazed, I asked her how she did it. She said, "I prayed to our ancestors to tell me, and they (specifically grandma) did!" You know, when stuff like that happens, a skeptic calls it imaginary. I don't think it's imaginary.
(Years later, I went to visit Winnie's grave in Colma (Woodlawn Memorial) for the first time since her funeral. I couldn't find it either, so I asked Winnie for help. I panned the yard left to right waiting for her to tell me when to stop. I did once, and it seemed like the wrong spot to me. I tried it again and stopped at the same spot. I figured my signal was bad and I went to the office to get the official location. Turns out it was right. Sorry I didn't trust you, Winnie!)
Best tip: The cemetery is only listed as being on "55 Street," but if you put 3980 55 St, Red Deer, Alberta into a Google Maps search, it comes up right at the cemetery entrance. There's plenty of street parking. If Google changes over time and this search doesn't work so well, just find the "Michener Centre" and go West a block or so. Or try "55 St. and McLellan Drive." At this point in time, the satellite photo loaded into Google is ancient... the cemetery is hardly developed at all. Park near the Google "A" on the map and follow the red line to the red dot.
The following photo sequence shows the views you'll see as you walk towards the spot. Once you get to the giant shed to the left of section V, you count in 13 rows to the right and then go halfway up the row. Right now there's a birdhouse at the other end of row 13.
Finally, here's a shot of me completing the mission to spread Dad's ashes on his parents' grave.
Last stop, Alto Reste with Uncle Harold and Auntie Kathy.Glenn
How to find Barry Mar's gravesite
At the end of May Auntie Kathy unexpectedly passed away, and so Mom, Debbie, Winnie, and I made the trip to Alberta to attend the funeral. The story of that trip is told on my family website here. While we were up there, we were determined to visit all the family graves and spread Dad's ashes over them.
Finding the graves proved so difficult, that I resolved to document the directions for anyone who wants to make the journey. Even once we found the graveyards,
finding the graves was such a hopeless endeavor that it was only through Winnie's bloodhound-like skills and her receptiveness to guidance from the family ghosts that we were able to find Uncle Barry and our grandparents.
So first: Calgary and Uncle Barry.
Uncle Barry is buried at Queens Park Cemetery at 3219 4th Street N.W., T2M 3A6, phone number 403-221-3660. The plot location is Lot W, Block B4, Section L67, but frankly all we ever found to mark any of it was a signpost marking lot W in it's Northeast corner. A key feature of this lot is that there are no standing headstones... all of them lie flat. Here's the map (click to enlarge) that you'll actually need:
Park where the red line stops. The grave is approximately where I put the red dot. See the shot below for how the surrounding area looks. Note the building immediately West, and the view of the treeline looking East.
Don't count on any help from the cemetery personnel or signage. Any buildings they had were locked up tight in the middle of a Sunday, with no maps posted.
Next, my grandparents.
Glenn
Finding the graves proved so difficult, that I resolved to document the directions for anyone who wants to make the journey. Even once we found the graveyards,
finding the graves was such a hopeless endeavor that it was only through Winnie's bloodhound-like skills and her receptiveness to guidance from the family ghosts that we were able to find Uncle Barry and our grandparents.So first: Calgary and Uncle Barry.
Uncle Barry is buried at Queens Park Cemetery at 3219 4th Street N.W., T2M 3A6, phone number 403-221-3660. The plot location is Lot W, Block B4, Section L67, but frankly all we ever found to mark any of it was a signpost marking lot W in it's Northeast corner. A key feature of this lot is that there are no standing headstones... all of them lie flat. Here's the map (click to enlarge) that you'll actually need:
Park where the red line stops. The grave is approximately where I put the red dot. See the shot below for how the surrounding area looks. Note the building immediately West, and the view of the treeline looking East.
Don't count on any help from the cemetery personnel or signage. Any buildings they had were locked up tight in the middle of a Sunday, with no maps posted.Next, my grandparents.
Glenn
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