I sometimes drop in to visit my cousin Winnie's grave because it's very close to one of the Costcos I go to. I figure if it's too hard to get into the left lane to turn up Hickey Blvd., then Winnie's hinting it's time to go straight and visit her.
This is how you find her. First of all, she's at Cypress Lawn at 1370 El Camino Real, Colma, CA 94014.
Second, here's the map to drive to the right spot. I have a little camera icon to mark where the other picture was shot. That one's to give you a visual on direction.
Winnie was the oldest child of Dad's oldest brother, Lim. One of Dad's favorite stories in his entire life was the search to find Lim's family after he passed away and he had heard that they were in Oakland when we lived in Fremont. Dad talking about it will be in a future video upload. You can see Winnie tell the story from her POV in Dad's Memorial video.
Because of our age difference, Winnie and I did not have much of a relationship. But our daughter Natasha was just starting to learn Mandarin in preschool and I was really hoping she could practice with cousin Winnie as she got older. We did all live in San Francisco together, after all.
Dad's sister Ida is an incredibly strong woman who has survived many things. Illness finally wore her down on December 6, and her surviving children held a memorial on January 21, 2024. It was held at the China Palace restaurant in Stockton, the site of many of her birthday celebrations. As is always worth mentioning; the food was fantastic!
The ceremonies began with Andy addressing the assembled full house with some of his thoughts and memories, establishing some of the themes of the day. Then I (Glenn) spoke a bit about what she meant to me and told a story about her giving the interview posted here in a previous post. Sandra also took a couple of turns, including giving some gifts to the family. We also heard from some of her grandchildren, Clyde Lee, and Karzen's son.
I also read some thoughts from the Canadians, who couldn't be there. Most of the ceremony is on this video... the cut coming when the first file reached its maximum size.
It is a melancholy feeling to realize that every Mar of our parent's generation is gone. It reminds me that legacy needs to be preserved, which is the point of this blog.
Uncle Hong's loving wife Mary passed away in 2010. It was very emotional, as my father adored Uncle Hong and we all adore their daughters. Auntie Mary was a remarkable woman and I am happy to have captured her memorial service to share.
Well it's time to start posting my treasure trove of family video interviews. When Dad got his lung cancer, he decided to buy a video camera and have me film him telling his life story. It makes for a grand epic and it's also a heart-wrenching document of his physical decline, but I'm so glad I have it.
Following that up, I started making interview videos of other family members of that generation, with the common thread of "Tell me what your experience of World War II was like." I particularly was looking forward to interviewing Aunt Ida because Dad's story of his travel with his mother from Guangzhou to the village in 1943 is the most harrowing and emotional event of his life. But I knew Aunt Ida and Uncle Harold made the same journey on a different route, in order to spread out the family for safety. So I wanted to get her story of that.
Surprisingly, considering how easy it usually is to tempt Igoo into telling old stories, she was kind of evasive about doing an interview video. I finally got some time where she couldn't escape... waiting for our plane in San Francisco for our flight to Aunt Mary's memorial service. Even then, she still tried "Later, later, let's do it later."
So I said, "Igoo, we can do it later, but just so you know, I'm going to want to hear about is your side of the story when you and Uncle Harold had to travel from Guangzhou to the village." That got her launched right into 40 minutes of stories until our flight was called to line up.
Afterwards, the gentleman sitting in the seat behind her said, "I'm sorry for eavesdropping, but that was the most fascinating thing I've heard in a long time." So classic.
6/21/15. I had a great Father's Day today. Activity-wise it wasn't so unusual... Natasha and I walked the dogs and played some basketball. I watched a movie in the afternoon, and then we all went out to Chouchou restaurant for the first time, which was great. My girls made an effort to help me have a special day, but the reality is the best thing about it was the normalness of it. I get such joy from being this little girl's father that on this Father's Day I took the time to both appreciate the moment and the fact that my life is filled with these moments. Dad used to say, "You'll understand when you're a father." He was talking about the delight a father gets out of the smallest, silliest things his little girl does. How pride surges when she figures something out, or demonstrates kindness. How joyous it is to sit across from her at dinner and look at her perfect little bangs I just cut and the jewelry she's wearing that she made this week. How her happiness spurs my own. How it wouldn't even be a question what I would do if for some reason I had to sacrifice my life for hers. And I can't believe the special cuddling relationship that only a daddy and daughter can have. Family is the best. It's incredible. Somewhere my dad is happy I feel this.
OK, I'm not exactly diligent. But I am really missing Dad this year. Maybe it's because I need more comfort these days. Maybe it's because Tasha's growing up and I want him to see it.
My father, Gordon Mar, passed away July 5, 2008 after a long illness. However, because he fought it for five years, we had the opportunity to make a lot of videotape. I plan to post snippets of those sessions for the Mar family and others interested in Dad's life.
This place will also welcome comments and feelings from friends and family of Dad's indefinitely. Thank you for visiting.
